Choosing
your Celebrant - by Hilary Guest
Story from I Do I Do Creations Magazine
Issue 2
How
do you choose a celebrant?
- Do you feel comfortable with her/him?
- When you speak on the phone, do they sound friendly,
and interested in answering your questions?
- Do you feel good about your conversation with them?
- Do they have written material they are prepared to
send to you, so that you can assess their style.
Meeting with
the celebrant
There is no substitute for meeting with the person who
may conduct your wedding ceremony. This is a little
like a job interview, where first impressions count.
And the job of conducting your wedding is indeed important.
As on the phone, do you feel comfortable with them?
Do they present themselves professionally, an indication
of their work with you? Are they interested in finding
out your wishes for your ceremony? Ask about their training
and professional background.
If choice is important to you, ask the celebrant whether
they offer a range of choices in the type of ceremony
they will design for you. This may vary among celebrants.
The beauty of a civil ceremony is that it does allow
couples a great deal of flexibility in the content of
their ceremony, so that it can be shaped to reflect
the personalities of the individuals concerned. The
result can be very personal and meaningful.
Does the celebrant listen to you carefully? If you say
you want a simple ceremony, do they produce that for
you? Even within the framework of simple, are you offered
a range of options A good celebrant will offer a range
of possibilities for every stage of the ceremony, from
the Introduction to the Giving Away (if desired) to
the Vows, Ring Ceremony, and the Declaration of Marriage.
The Celebrant takes care of the legal paperwork, guiding
you through the documentation according to the requirements
of the law. They can offer suggestions about readings,
music, and a number of sub-ceremonies that you may like
to have. One sub-ceremony growing in popularity is the
Hand Ceremony, which is both romantic and modern in
that it reflects the equality that most contemporary
couples favour:
In the Hand Ceremony, the bride takes the groom’s
hands in hers, palms up. The celebrant invites her to
view his hands as a gift, and says:
These are the hands that will work alongside yours as
together you build your future, as together you laugh
and cry, and together you share your innermost secrets
and dreams.
The groom then takes the bride’s hands, palm side
up. The celebrant says:
These are the hands that will passionately love you
and cherish you through the years for a lifetime of
happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to
you all the days of her life.
Your vows are a most important part of your ceremony.
Ask your celebrant for a selection of vows to consider.
If you wish to write your own vows, she/he should be
able to help you with this task. Once you have made
your decision, it can be wise to practise them aloud.
The (happy!) stress of the day, appearing in front of
your family and friends, and the deeply personal meaning
of a wedding can all affect your delivery. As with most
things, practice helps!?
X, do you take Y to be your wife, do you promise
to love and respect her, be honest with her and
stand by her whatever may come, so that you genuinely
share your life together?
I do. Y, I pledge to love you, to be faithful
to you, to respect you and to grow with you through
the years to my life’s end.
I, X, In the presence of our families and friends,
take you, Y to be my wife/husband.?
I will love and support you, and share my life
with you.
In poverty and prosperity, in conflict and harmony,
As long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.
X, today I join with you, to come together as
one.
From this day forward and for the rest of our
lives,
I will be there for you, to care for you and to
protect you,
And to be your confidante.
I will always be there to comfort you,
To re-assure you, support you and stand by you.
Today I marry you because I believe in you, trust
in you and love you.
